And baby will make 3!

After praying for 4+ long years for a child, going through fertility treatments for 1 ½ years, and nearly completely our foster care home study after 1 ¾ years…we found out we are expecting a child of our own June 18, 2013! Yes! We’re pregnant!!! A couple weeks ago we went for our first ultrasound and were so excited to see our little baby moving all around at 11 weeks and to hear the baby's heartbeat. Things seem to be progressing normally. We are now 12 1/2 weeks along.

After struggling with infertility and the uncertainty, the sadness, the struggle to trust the Lord and His goodness at times, we understand the fact that our joy of a growing child only deepens the wound for some. We want to say that we understand a small bit of that and hurt with you. We don't know what the future is for you but we do know that the Lord has Good plans for you. 

Over the last four years some days and weeks were much harder than others. A year ago I was really, really struggling. The Lord began to impress on me the word "Hope". Then I began to question...what is my hope in? I realized that I was placing my hope in having a child rather than in Him. He began to show me verse after verse after verse about hope. The thing I noticed was that the guarantee for strength and a reason to live is not hoping for the sake of hope. Instead hope comes when my hope is in God. 

Isaiah 40:30 "...but those who Hope in the LORD will renew their strength."
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my Hope."
Psalm 146:5-6 "Blessed is he whose help is is the God of Jacob, whose Hope is in the LORD his God, the maker of heaven and earth; the sea and everything in them -- the LORD, who remains faithful forever."
Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The last verse that I wrote in my list of Hope verses was Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." That was the verse that I was still pondering on when I finally got a positive pregnancy test. (Ok, so I took 3 of them that day, another one the next day and two blood tests...it was a little unreal that it might actually happen.)

In the journey of infertility a person feels very alone. You continuously hear about those that are pregnant and all about the new babies. It's not like there's a status on Facebook to say "I'm struggling with infertility" (Not that most of us would really want to put that out there for the whole world though.) It's easy for people to say really, really, really dumb things without realizing it. Days like Mother's Day at church can be brutal (why does it always have to be on a Sunday?!) and Baby Showers. Most people don't know what to do or say...because it is awkward. 

However, the thing that has been most amazing about sharing with people that we're pregnant is to realize just how many people have been praying for us and have really cared. Many of them we knew were praying for us...a few near us, many off in the distance in a way, others we didn't even know were praying and some other people that we don't even know but are connected by family have been praying. A person can feel so alone but now we've seen a glimpse of just how many people were silently cheering us on. And we had no idea.

Thank you so much for those that have prayed with us, near or far these past years!!! Thank you to those that are continuing to pray for a healthy baby. We pray that this little one will grow to love the Lord and serve Him. This phase of our journey is only beginning. I don't think I'll completely believe it until I hold this little one in my arms.